A Thin Line
20111006 @ Thursday, October 06, 2011
“They say the worse things in life come free to
us”
2nd
day of PMR. I’ve been banned from the use of the internet, so I have no idea
when this post is going to be posted up.
“All around me are familiar faces, worn out
places,
Bright and early for the daily races,
going nowhere.
I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve
ever had,
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to
take,
When people run in circles,
It’s a very,
Mad world.”
Ever wonder how many
times you’ve been lied to? Ever counted how many times you’ve lied to others?
Lies hurt, I know. Yet
the circle never stops. You lie, you get lied to, you lie, you get lied to… it
just never ends.
You know what sucks?
When someone feels
hurt after being lied to, and stops talking to the ‘liar’ without ever thinking
how many times he’s lied to her.
Lying is forgivable;
it’s not something that’s impossible to forgive. The hardest part of forgiving
a ‘liar’ is when you find out that there was no legit reason behind hiding the
now uncovered truth.
I admit I have lied. I
have been lied to. Yet, life still goes on.
The one thing that
everyone has in common is the “I’m OK” lie. We’ve all said it.
I am a liar. I have
the guts to admit it. Do you?
-
I found that people
will question you on the big decisions you make in life, as though you hadn’t
thought about it all before, as though, through their 20 questions and many
dubious faces, they’re going to shine light on something that you missed the
first time or hundredth time round during your darkest hours.
They mean well, but to
me I find it rather pathetic. There are people who ask those 20 so questions
out of curiosity and care without crossing the line. But then there is always
the opposite.
-
One thing I realized
as PMR draws nearer was the fact that although almost every Form 3 across
Malaysia panics a little, most of them have already started planning what
they’re going to do after the examination. I find it rather odd.
Human behavior never
seizes to amaze me.
-
Anyway, lately I’ve
been catching up with some friends; Sie Mone, Benroy, and Julius.
It’s nice y’know
although sometimes it is quite sad having to ‘catch up’. To me, catching up
means I haven’t spent time with …whoever. I don’t like doing that. -.-
Julius told me that he
never quite seemed to be able to figure me out. I didn’t respond cause I wasn’t
sure whether that was a compliment or not. Then he went on to say that I was a
very complicated person. He even gave an example;
The
fact that I don’t expect much from someone makes that someone expect more from
his or herself.
My
reaction to it was “What crap are you crapping boy?”
Then
he continued with his little “Maria Monash is a very complicated person”
speech. I wasn’t listening half the time but I got the main idea of the entire
speech. He also stated that although I’m very open about my life, he feels that
I don’t tell him things, the things that I feel and how I am. He said that I
practically know his entire life yet the only things he and many others know
about me are the ‘tragedies’ that happen.
Other
than that, he stated that he finds it hard to have a one on one conversation
with me sometimes because he doesn’t know what to say and that my eyes always
seemed very dark to him.
Very
dark, metaphorically speaking.
Apparently,
to him I’m complicated.
Apparently to a lot of
people, I seem like a complicated person.
