Ice Ice Baby
20110425 @ Monday, April 25, 2011
I want the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of you that you are afraid to share with anyone because I love you that much.
— Lady Gaga (Lady Gaga - The Fame)”
— Lady Gaga (Lady Gaga - The Fame)”
I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich, or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don't teach you how to tell other people your dying. They don't teach you how to feel. They don't teach you what to do when faced with death. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.
Lately, been sick. Very sick.
Psychopathy, you know sometimes I just get so pissed off at people,
Yes. I'm a psychopath, a few of you know that. Thanks to that douche of a brudder.
That doesn't mean I'm psycho.
I'm.NOT.Psycho.
Eeeeesssssshhhhhh.
I just don't feel. anything.
Everything you've seen me do, and all those expressions are just pure lies.
That's what I have to do. Hide all the crap I face, with Grammy Award Winning acting.
I want to build a time machine and revisit the past. If it weren’t for this disease, I might even be in love. I want to cling to someone’s arm so badly.
Yeah, I don't feel love.
I don't feel happiness.
I don't feel laughter.
I don't feel sad.
I don't feel pain.
I don't feel.
There are a few feelings I know of,
hatred, anger, frustration, confusion, blurrnesss, and blablabla.
Just goes to prove that when someone says "I know you, Maria"
Yeah, well you don't. Even I don't.
But heck that's my life. What about yours?
I see people walking around saying "I want to die" and I just get so pisssed offf.....
-shows fist-
I mean, nothing can be that bad, you know. I've faced death so many times. Trust me, it scares you.
Dancing. Titanium.
We live dangerously. But that's just cause we cool liddat yo.
I still remember the first time we got first in a competition, (the first time we ever joined a competition)
When Benroy, Nick, Hirai, Alexis, Zowie and all as we walked out of the place. This group of people walked up to us, and this guy 'leader' i guess, he pulled out this thing, i couldnt tell what it was, till it touched my head.
A gun.
All this happened when I was 10.
FREAKING TENN.
Then he threatened us, and blablabla. One thing for sure was, I have grown up like that. After every competition some group or some person, will threaten to kill me. It's a habit. I mean, there was once when I walked out of the competition grounds I was already expecting someone to come out of the shadows, but that day no one did.
The slash on my face, you guys seriously believe the crap I told you? I can't even remember what I told you.
Yeah lar Yeah lar, I'm sorry for having to lie to you. But I just hated being questioned, being judged. Plus, sometimes you just want to keep something to yourself
So yeah, I got the slash after competing. Titanium aish, you people ah....
We walked out after a well deserved victory (perasan jap)
As you all know, Nick has decided to join us in our quest of World Domination.
Muahahahahahaha.
So after walking out, we decided to go play B-Ball at Taman Aman.
Mel, Shir lynn and them people were with us.
So we took the cars to Tmn. Aman.
And played some B-Ball.
After a while, the place started to empty.
Then some people went home.
I think there was about 7 of us left. When this group of dancers, I knew them cause I had competed with them. They came out of nowhere, and all of them had knives ke apa.
One grabbed Nick, and the rest started to circle around us.
As you can see, being a psychopath had its perks.
The guy put the knife to Nick's neck, and slowly you could blood dripping. I mean, I always got his back man, he got mine.
So Benroy was in front of me, and he pulled his shoes off as a signal.
Then it started
FISTTT FIGGGHTTT!
Of course, Shir Lynn and Mel had dissapeared.
So this guy, I started to tumbuk him tak habis2. When he tried getting up, the knife accidently slashed my face as he ran away.
This sounds so fake, but I swear it isnt.
It's cause I have a fever and I'm too malas to put oomph to it.
If anything here, gets out at school or at other competitions and stuff, I know who to slaughter okay.
I'm having a fever, flu, sore throat, cough, and I've been coughing out blood, yet I'm being forced to go to school. Awww Come On.
The truth is I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.
I'm a psychopath, and I'm dying. Yet I live life like I always have. So who's got it worse?
You decide. Just thought you should know.
Micky ; can’t set my hopes to high cause every hello ends with a goodbye
sayonara,
M .
-drunken words are sober thoughts-
