You Made The Best Of Everything
20110515 @ Sunday, May 15, 2011
As you know, recently I've been fairly down....
I was sitting on one of the couches at the studio after work.
We finally finished one song with mere perfection. 5 more to go.
Nothing is perfect, but it was close to perfect.
You guys just need to get your timing straight :)
I was being a couch potatoe and reading through all my messages.
When I came across a message from Henry.
He asked me to watch a movie, I realized then that I never got to watch it.
So I shouted at Nick and Mel across the room, and they went off and bought it.
During the duration they were gone ( It was a REALLY LONG time... God knows what they were doing)
Hirai, Benroy and me got some popcorn and pulled out the crates of coke, marshmallows and some hot chocolate then we ordered pizza.
Soon enough they were back...
After everyone showered and washed up.
We sat in front of the tele and put the movie in.
It was then that I noticed, everyone started to tear up, all the girls anyway.
I didn't mention the fact that my ex classmates from NZ had all flown down. So they were with us at the studio whilst we watched the movie.
It was the only movie that everyone was really quiet, other than the sound of sniffles and teeth crunching into popcorn.
It was a movie about how this kid, was diagnosed with cancer and even though through all the kemo and things, he danced. He danced to inspire. This kid, Tyler was only 8. And he would write a letter everyday and put it in his mailbox addressed to God.
A very touching movie.
At the end of the movie, I looked at everyone. Everyone was crying..even Nick, Benroy, Rynn and all them macho guys. Then I looked at Mel. Mel knew Henry but they were'nt really close. She smiled at me through her tears. At first I didnt know why...
Then I realized why. I was crying. The 2nd time I've cried in my whole entire life.
But it was only like what 7 tears ?
Still, I cried.
It would be an understatement to say that Henry meant something to me.
Henry meant a lot to me. He was, the bestest friend you could have.
We knew each other since we were in diapers.
It's funny how I always thought that I should have died first.
He was always the badass yet not badass kind of a person. I was always the Badass person . fullstop.
I used to think about him everyday, some of you would say that I love him. I don't.
He was just a brother to me. Like Nick, only a kazillion times better :) sorry nick.
He was the first person, I knew as friend.
He knew what I was, before I knew what I was.
When he got cancer, it was like my whole world came crashing down. Then it got better, and then he started to get Leukimia and some other fuckery.
We were all there when he said goodbye (he didn't actually say goodbye)
I flew to New Zealand over the weekend of our March test.
That look on his face, it looked as if he would have given up fighting a long time ago.
He took in a deep breathe and closed his eyes and he was gone.
The hardest part of it was, the memories that flashed before all of us.
His parents were devastated, everyone started crying their eyeballs out, except me.
I just stared at him. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be.
Then I left. All the commotion that was going on, was too much to take in.
Soon enough people started to realize I was gone, a million texts and calls came in but I never answered any of them. I went to the only place I could think of. The bridge.
In New Zealand, my house had a lake behind it. It was a public lake of course but there was this one place no one went. Supposedly haunted. In that part place, it was a little forest like but it wasn't that far out. There was this half built or was half broken bridge, when we were kids all of us used to hang out there. The bridge was over this stream that led to the lake. We'd always get pushed into it.
I sat there and started throwing pebbles into the water.
Nick, Benroy and Rynn came yet no one said anything. Everyone was just silent with me destroying the silence with the pebble throwing.
At last, benroy being benroy started to make us all laugh. Attempts that didn't work for a few hours.
I laughed. fakely. Just to satisfy them.
It was hard, loosing someone. to cancer.
Even more with the fact that I lost my Grandmum to cancer on my birthday last year.
I didn't say anything to anyone for the 2 following days. Just needed to get my head straight. The first I actually said to someone after all that was Cancer is such fuckery.
Cancer is fuckery.  |
| Henry and his siblings |
You showed me love even in so much pain.
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try.
:)
sayonara,
M .
-drunken words are sober thoughts-
