#670
20120902 @ Sunday, September 02, 2012
It’s been a tough week. It’s tiring having to be
strong for everyone else but yet in the end when they make it through the tough
times; I feel a sense of accomplishment or gratitude? I don’t know what the
word is but it’s a nice feeling. I just feel a small boost, like “I can help
someone” and maybe they’ll forget you after a while, but maybe in the future
they’ll remember what you did. I don’t know, I just like being there for
people. I like being the “go to person” that I am. It’s kind of like “He/She
wants my advice because maybe I’m just important to them” I don’t know if I
make any sense but well it’s a good feeling. Then there’s days like these when
I think “Are you that stupid?!”
A
few days ago, a friend of mine came up to me and asked me for advice on his
girlfriend. He went on about how a lot of other guys post on her wall and
there’s not one post from him, sure I felt bad for him but seriously?
SERIOUSLY. Obviously there aren’t any posts from you because you never posted
on her wall. Idiot. So I gave him something to post on her wall, and she liked
it and commented and things were okay. That was till today – today he asked me
to think of some other quote to post on her wall. I got annoyed because
something else happened earlier which annoyed me a small bit and this just
seemed to feed on the annoyment I was already feeling. You don’t go around
asking people for quotes to put up on your girlfriend’s wall so that the bump
in your relationship will smoothen. It doesn’t work that way. That’s just being
fake, quite fake.
Sometimes
the small things piss me off, and then there are the big things. “Are you
okay?” we all want to be asked that question when we’re down, so that we have
an excuse to vent out to someone. You can deny that fact as much as you want,
but even you know that it’s true – no matter how small the want is, you still
want it to happen. So why don’t people ask other people if they’re okay? Not
many ask that question anymore because the answer is usually “I’m okay/I’m
fine” so why would people want to ask? If you look depressed and you seemed to
have balled your eyes out, and someone asks you if you’re okay – what would you
say? Most of us would say “I’m okay” because maybe we don’t want to burden the
other person or we just don’t want to talk about it. That is partly true. There
is also that craving for attention, that tiny craving for attention. I admit, I
do sometimes surrender to this attention craving side of me and pretty much
exaggerate the smallest mess ups I’ve been through, but I’m trying to fix that
because that just isn’t right. I now also have this “No bullshit” motto along
with my other gazillion mottos. Why say “I’m okay” when you’re not? It took me
awhile to figure out an answer to that. Why not just say “No, I’m not okay” if
you’re not okay and if you don’t want to talk about it then say “I’m sorry. I
don’t want to talk about it” or something that sounds less serious like “Can we
talk about pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows?” or dodge the talking by
asking whoever it is how they are.
Society is mental. We all are.
We’ve succumbed to pretty much everything on
television/radio/internet/magazines etc. What happened to individuality? What
happened to religion? It’s funny how we used to cherish these things and slowly
they’re beginning to disintegrate. What happened to knowing your neighbours,
helping the needy, being different? We used to be a society filled with so much
talent, a world filled with different races, different backgrounds and different
people. When did the girls turn into Barbies and the guys turn into Kens? When
did we decide that we need to be like the others to have friends? Have we
really lost all our self-esteem? It sure seems that way.
