#602
20120125 @ Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Emotional pain. You can't see it, like you can see a broken bone, a pale face, an open wound. It's in your head, easy to hide because no one else can see it unless you allow them to see it. It's physical internally, a sick stomach, a tightness in the chest, exhaustion. It can be crippling, an inability to move. You can protect yourself from it with defenses invisible to the eye. It can hit you like a disease, cover you like a shadow, embrace you like a demon.
None of us are immune to it, none of us strangers to it. Some of us break from it, some of us are stronger for it. All of us do everything we can to protect ourselves from it. It has a way of making us feel alone, because even though we know we are not the only ones to face adversity, we are a world unto ourselves and no one else sees the world quite the way we do.
The way I tend to respond to emotional pain is to shut down. It's a protection mechanism that I developed a long time ago, and as they say old habits die hard.
This is what I've come to understand: Shutting down to protect yourself may protect your heart, but what is life if you have no one to share it with? The moments I remember most are the moments I spent with others. Opening up your heart leaves you vulnerable to pain. If you never open your heart though, you'll never find joy either.
You never really can fix a heart, once they're broken they're never the same. The jagged edges can scrape your insides raw. It's kind of like my favorite old book though, or my worn, ripped up jeans - just because they're used doesn't mean they're not good anymore.
#601
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
"Do you ever wonder whether people would like you more or less if they could see inside you? ...I always wonder about that. If people could see me the way I see myself - if they could live in my memories - would anyone, anyone, love me?" - John Green
This sentence got to me.
Save Janet
Wednesday, January 25, 2012