A Snippet
20111028 @ Friday, October 28, 2011
The more I learn about relationships and love, the more convinced I am that I will never experience either. I don’t see myself having that kind of bond with anyone, and I’m far too wary to give myself to someone like that. I’ve seen heartbreak too many times to ever want to make myself vulnerable to it, and for a long, long time, I have not believed in ‘forever’. It’s a stupid word, an impossible concept, and a humungous mistake of a promise to make.
I’ve seen how careless people can be in relationships – rebounds, two-week relationships, two-day relationships, I’ve seen them all. At least one side ends up getting hurt, always. I’m convinced that there really isn’t any such thing as an amiable break up. It may look it from the outside, but I’ve had to console miserable friends behind the scenes. Relationships seem to be nothing but a one-way ticket to doom, however much you enjoy the ride.
I guess that’s what some people say, that the ride makes it all worth it. Does it really, though? Could anything really make up for your being absolutely miserable at the end of it for an indefinite amount of time? Would it help with the healing? Remember this: you wouldn’t be feeling that way if you hadn’t gotten into the relationship in the first place. Sure, you gained a lot of stuff along the way, but how valuable are those experiences?
Maybe I’m just saying this because I don’t know what I’m missing. Right now, I think I just want to remain blissfully ignorant for as long as I can. Relationships seem to be an addiction for some people – they crave affection and intimacy, having someone they can hold and call their own. I don’t. You can’t miss what you never had, I guess. The more I learn, the more I think I’ll never have that, and it makes me feel secure and sad at the same time.
What is love, really? Is love in the romantic sense really a necessity in our lives?
AA snippet from Hui Jan's blog. The thought is mutual.
