"Maybe that’s what we look for in the people we love, the spark of unhappiness we think we know how to extinguish"

Some people think love is the end of the road, and if you’re lucky enough to find it, you stay there. Other people say it just becomes a cliff you drive off, but most people who’ve been around awhile know it’s just a thing that changes day by day, and depending on how much you fight for it, you get it, or you hold on to it, or you lose it, but sometimes it’s never even there in the first place.

 "All my life I’ve been impatient. So I will muster all the patience that I haven’t used even once just to wait for you"

           -Cha Ji Heon (Protect the Boss) 

Ji Heon's story in Protect the Boss made me cry... the dude is officially my favourite character, cause I mean who can resist such an asdfghjkl adorable kid?

I have successfully made an egg sandwich without either accidentally stabbing myself (trust me, you don't feel the pain at first but later it gets annoying) or burning the kitchen down. I have to say, it tastes pretty darn good.
Amagad, I should be in Masterchef!

Eggs =)

You're not dead, but you're not alive either. Caught in between two worlds. Floating aimlessly between your days. Nothing is real anymore. Maybe nothing ever was. 
I don't know if you've ever felt that way. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. If this gets any worse I might have to go back to the doctor again.

Dear mom, dad or Rynn :)
I want this for my birthday, pleaseeeee..... pretty pretty please with caramel on top ?



I want me some pair of Victor Kings :B

Sometimes life will disappoint us, but we can choose how we react. We have the capacity to evolve, to develop perseverance and strength which will help us through everything.

 -Victor Kim

Nothing feels better than a crappy day at school. It's amazing how much one can want to get into a different stream, absolutely amazing. She's been wanting to change streams from arts to sub science ever since I managed to, and attempting to zone out while she was whining was already starting to get to me. Dude, cut the crap and just ask the teacher. So today, she went ahead and did that. No wait, rewind. Monday, we got all our classes after all the changes, Pn. Mages is the teacher in charge or something like that, and so I went to ask her if she could change me from Arts to Sub Science. Everyone was already suprised at the fact that I chose to come to school for the rest of the month, no one asked why but the reasons were because I had to wait for my Sijil Berhenti Sekolah and also because I had nothing to do at home,and now I realize I had made the right decision because at least I would know some Chem, Physics, Add Maths and Mod Maths before I go which would make it easier for me to adjust into the education there... so anyway, this girl started complaining and whining because I managed to switch into sub science, and when she asked she got rejected.   Therefore, she decided to make my day miserable by going all "I don't know why she picked you, out of all people she let you get in. You're moving to Australia. You won't even be here for March test... -insert more grumbling and whining here-  
After all the drama from yesterday, I was too lazy to face all that again today but I did ... (pats self)  


So apparently today, Olivia and her went to see Pn. Mages. Oli wanted to ask her if she could change to accounts from ICT and this girl wanted to ask her if she could change into my class... again and yet again she faced rejection, so I found them at the phone booth, this girl calling her mom and Oli standing behind her. Both of them saw me and then started bitching like they have never done that before... so after all the "..but you don't deserve that place because you're going to Australia..." and similar shit. I was flabbergasted and pissed, quite pissed. So Uthraa somehow noticed my expression while these two just went on and on with their never ending shit, so she stood next to me in order to prevent me from punching them in the face. Yes, I am very emotional at the mo, I think my period is coming soon. shit. 
Her prevention was a success right until she told me that she's going to tell Pn. Mages that I'm moving so she can get her place in my class, which didn't really make that much sense cause dude, my class has only 20 people, 20 freaking people.   
I told her that if Pn. Mages knew that I was moving, she might just put me back in arts, only cause I'm going to be in school for a month and wasn't an option for me. her comeback was "Who cares? Who fucking cares? You're only going to be here for a month, I am going to be here for two years. You get everything. You get to study in Australia, while I'm stuck here and you get to go into the stream I want" Oli was just agreeing to everything.
So I calmly said "Tell her. I dare you" and walked away. It didn't make sense what I said, but then it didn't matter to me. I had to end it before my fist gets the better of me. Just when I thought the bad part of the day was over, whilst I was talking to Uthraa, still pissed. Another girl comes, she comes as if she's the most popular girl in school, and everyone fucking person is falling in love with her, she hugs Uthraa and then all of a sudden my cheek starts stinging, at first I didn't realize what happened but once I did, boy was I pissed. I swear if I had no self control, the bitch would have cried herself into depression. Yes this bitch, this fcking bitch slapped me. She fcking SLAPPED ME like she's the mother fucking queen of England. Only because I was leaving her to go to Australia, here's exactly how the conversation went :


girl  : -Slaps like she the fcking queen-
Me  :  -Stares and then glares-
girl  : You're leaving me. -pout-
Me  : So?
Girl  : You're leaving me -pouts-
Me  : Dude, do I seriously look like I give shit?
Girl : -walks away emoly-


I mean how exactly am I supposed to act around her after the shit she did. Yes, though it was 2 years ago, it still is shit. Does she really think I'm still close to her? Why would I even care if I'm leaving her? We don't even talk. Okay, we do but the word limit is well limited. Plus, most of the time I ignore her and she ends up walking away. Therefore meaning that I really don't give shit about this bitch who for some reason thinks she has the right to slap me. 


 I would have typed their names out but then I just want to forget about it.People think I'm heartless because I bitch about people on my blog, without any discretion.   I never asked for your opinion, thank you very much. 


To end my essay, I shall say that I officially suck at Maths because each time I count the amount of days left till I leave, I get a different number. So now I am going to just state the weeks I have left, it involves less counting.

42 Days left.

Fear, isolation and violence that only YOU can help to take away...: The fight for survival is a daily battle for refugees and asylum seekers in Malaysia. Coming from countries such as Burma, refugees are forced to flee from their homelands in pursuit of safety from oppressive conditions such as confiscation of homes, forced labor, systematic rape and torture. However, their efforts to gain freedom in Malaysia are short-lived due to discrimination from local employers. Refugees and asylum seekers work in situations where they face verbal and physical abuse from employers, low/unpaid wages, and long working hours in exploitative conditions. Question is, where is the humanity in all of this?Agree to stand up against forced labor and human trafficking by signing a Petition Letter to the Prime Minister of Malaysia today! Petition available here : http://chn.ge/heimalaysiapetition

“It happens, baby." Dad nodded and patted me on the hand, and then he read my mind. "You forget all of it anyway. First, you forget everything you learned - the dates of the Hay-Herran Treaty and the Pythagorean Theorem. You especially forget everything you didn't really learn, but just memorized the night before. You forget the names of all but one or two of your teachers, and eventually you'll forget those, too. You forget your junior class schedule and where you used to sit and your best friend's home phone number and the lyrics to that song you must have played a million times. For me, it was something by Simon & Garfunkel. Who knows what it will be for you? And eventually, but slowly, oh so slowly, you forget your humiliations - even the ones that seemed indelible just fade away. You forget who was cool and who was not, who was pretty, smart, and athletic, and not. Who went to a good college. Who threw the best parties. Who could get you pot. You forget all of them. Even the ones you said you loved, and even the ones you actually did. They're the last to go. And then once you've forgotten enough, you love someone else.” 
― Gabrielle Zevin, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac

If you asked me how I’m doing, I would say I’m doing just fine.I would lie & say that you’re not on my mind.But I go out & I sit at a table set for two.& finall I’m forced to face the truth, no matter what I say,I’m not over you.

 Nyeh. That song is stuck in my head.Today was the first day of school for the year.  It was okay, Cynta sits next to me just like in 2010. We made friends with the new girl, her name's Natasya and wears Vans to school. I am speechless. She's like Miguel, where to them Vans is as cheap as Bata and Bata is probably like japanese slippers to them. He still owes me my pair of shoes :(  She was a little awkward at first, but after a while she was okay. Quiet girl. She told Cynta and me that we were weird and both of us were like, you don't know yet.


Anyway, here are some peektures from New Year's. Going to miss these monkeys a lot. Can't wait for Girls Night with em' douches, and after that I've got a night with Titanium and then depending on the amount of days left, might get people to stay at my place for a night. People keep asking what I did on New Year's Eve, and I go "I went to church" then they give me that look. That oh you so holy look. Bitch please, let me spend my NYE the way I want to aight?. Ending a year in church is nice. I had the people I treasure with me, and I say that ending the year partying in church, was way more fun than going to a party, but then again I'm #justsaying. We didn't exactly party, but we sure as hell had fun.  I'm going to miss my Malaysians.

You ever get that feeling? Like you're probably about to fuck everything up? And you feel like shouting "Don't do it!" at yourself every single minute before you do, and ultimately it does nothing to save you from ruining your own happiness. I can feel it coming. (Please don't do it.)

"Think back and replay your year; if it doesn’t bring you tears of either joy or sadness, consider it wasted."

Therefore now I can officially say, I'm moving next month. 


HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!