Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie... and when its about to start........ BOOOOOM, Human giraffe sits in front of you         I just realized tomorrow is SATURDAY!!!

Why do You ignore the girl who is in Love with you, the one girl who know's you've done wrong plenty of times and still want's to be with you , the one girl who doesn't care what others say about you, the one girl who know's your completely wrong for her but still want's YOU, and only YOU, why do you ignore the girl who could really make you happy, the one that maybe deep down you know you truly love her too, Why won't you accept her. ~Scares the Hell outta you doesn't it?

Girl: Say im a man after everything i say...
Boy: Go on..
Girl: I went to the pub
Boy: im a man!
Girl: I met this girl
Boy: im a man!
Girl: i took her home
Boy: im a man!
Girl: I slept with her
Boy: Im a man!
Girl: She whispered in his ear..
Boy: im a man...

The biggest scars are unseen and unremembered, always from a smile you forgot long ago. We would never get anything done otherwise.

So lets take a break and go on a journey, Lets run to the stars and skip to the depths of the sea, Lets take pictures of nothing and post them in the clouds, Lets write a new song and sing it to the grass, Lets watch the rain fall and dance between the raindrops.



;I'm okay 

There I said It. I'm not okay. Happy? 
Yeah, I know. My acting very the pro kan?
He.He.He. 
I wasn't supposed to go to school today. But I did anyway. Why?
Cause I didn't want to go there either.
Everyone's so caught up in their own emo-ism. And I'm going around making them laugh like there's nothing wrong with me.
There sure is something wrong with me too.
Sometimes I think I care for others too much.
Watching Postman to Heaven again.


Mia ; dotdotdotdotdot
  

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry."

 

Just had to, sorry, A cancer patient only has one wish, to get better. I know that 97% of formspringers will not post this as an anon question, but my friends will be the 3% that do! In honour of someone who has died or is fighting cancer.

Ask me anything

I can't think of anything to update now.
By the way, I semangat Green Hornet..
Theme colours for this year is.......Green + Black! :D

I Didn't fight with the human gang.
Who in the world told you this? Ahyo, just cause I don't rehat with them as much as I used to, doesn't mean that I fought with them or whatever. Ahyo, you people get your knickers in a twist over nothing.
Nonsense.
They still my brudders larr man. 
Have I ever mentioned that?
I mix around.a lot.
Mia;ze blender. :D

I'm never going to be good enough for anyone, am I?
Parents, they want you to be a smart, studios, good, sporty, fun kid. Who can get A's and 'succeed in life'
Friends, want you to always be there for them even when they arent there for you, they want you to listen to their problems, and blablablabla.
To me, I don't judge. You may be the worst person on earth, and i'd still call you friend.
If only the rest were like that.
Well, live with the fact that I'm not perfect. If you want perfection, I'm not good enough.
I'm never good enough.

I am currently downloading 14 videos at the same time, so don't blame me if the picture doesnt move.

Aisho. Kecoh betul.
I've always wondered why people just suddenly dissapear at ze moments you need them?
I just don't know what's going on nowadays. Going numb. 
I seem happy and blablabla to everyone. It's cause I dont want other people to be 'whatyoucallit' emo.
I'm not emo. I dont even know what emo is. 
-.-
Yosh, so jyeah. You wanna make people happy, but in the end, your the one who gets hurt no one else.
But I guess thats just life right?
Friends. Hmph.
The only think I can say is, they hurt you. some of them. most of them.
I dont know larrr.......


Funny thing is. NOBODY knows when I'm okay or not.
Imma win a Oscar Award with my acting! :D


I dont know what ish going on.anymore.
Who my friends are and who they are'nt.
Tell me!!!
D:
Whataya want from me ah, girl?
I dont care larrr, if she wants to write about me on her blog or FB or whatever, 
Let her larrr.....
I dont get whats ze big deal?


I'm always there for you, to be that shoulder you can cry on.
Why'd you always go to her?
I feel like a piece of paper being scrunched up and thrown to a corner now.
I dont get it, sure larr you guys are twins right, with the same 'obsession' and blablabla.
But....but. Aish nevermind.
I still remember when both of us were sad after that thing happened. We had each other. Ever since then, I went to you when I needed someone to talk to. But when I wanted to say something........no one ever listens. Plus, you had her anyway. You didnt need me right. So I went to other friends......it didnt feel the same. but yeah.
 I just dont know what to do anymore. Dont know who to go to anymore. Dont know who my friends are. I.just.dont.know. 
I'll always be here when you need me tho. Always been and always have. You have 'her' anyway.....whataya need me for?


"You're looking in the mirror but you don't see yourself anymore" 
That's the only way to say exactly how I feel. 
I guess it's another mid-teen crisis.
Sayonara,
Mia ; I miss me. But I cant remember me.

"I am the author of my life. Unfortunately, I am writing in pen and can’t erase my mistakes."

Though I call out 'I want to see you',
There's no response from you.

Maths. So hard when teacher explains, but when my tuition teacher explains, senang jer. What is wrong with the world? -scratch head-
I bled today. Entah larrr, first I got cuts on my arm, so that was bleeding. I didnt really bother, just wiped off the blood. Then tiba-tiba, during science, my nose started to bleed a lil.
My nose NEVER bleeds. weird.
Life is going downhill at the moment. Aisho.
I don't get it, people are just so annoying these days, why ah?
Or am I PMS-ing? Entah lar. It's just, they can get so annoying.
Till I feel like cekik-ing them,
For the people yang tak faham bahasa melayu reading this, cekik-ing is a mere action that can only happen when your not in a good mood and you wrap your hands around the victim's neck and start to stranggle them. :D

So yes, that is what 'cekik-ing' means. Anyway, I have no clue how to do maths, and it's first period tmrw. Learning is the only way you'll understand. mmmph.
How can people get so cruel all of a sudden?
I mean, you have friends right? Dont lar, ignore them and buat bodoh. (english : Don't ignore them and pretend they're not there)

I'm so used to speaking in Manglish. Sorry, new zealanders....I love you, but sometimes I'm just to lazy to type the meanings of words, so use google translate -bows-

Back to the point. Don't larr ignore them. Not nice, you know. It hurts they're feelings. No matter what, Do Not Ignore A Person, A Dog, A Cat, An Elephant, A Garbage Bin, A Wallet, A Pole?.
you. get. the. point.

Aish. So yeah. Don't ignore your friends. If you need some space, cakap jerr larrr.....they'll understand, and if they don't, at least they know that you need the space.
I just don't get it. Sometimes, when your not okay, it gets annoying how people ask
"Why ah?."
"Maria, why you not okay??"
"Why? Why? Why?. You better tell me"
"Why you not okay ah? Cheer up okay"
"Are you okay?"

It is just annoying. ANNOYING.
But sometimes, people want people to ask them why.
For me, i don't really bother. You ask or don't up to you larr.
All I know is, don't take it personally if I don't respond to whatever your saying.
It's cause, I look like I'm listening, but I'm not.

Labels: quotes

Labels: quotes

Why do people get angry over tiny things?
Learn the art of patience, it gets you further in life.
Like today for instance, I'm not trying to state anything, I'm just using it as an example.

Form 2's took our table during rehat. I dont why, but some people got their knickers in a twist.
Whatever larrr.
So yeah, these form 2's took our table while I was at the koperasi. Anyway, when I got to the canteen, they had already chased them off. Poor form 2's. So yeah, and one of them left their plate behind. -.-
So well, if you all didnt know. We get demerited if our table is dirty. So yeah, everyone started arguing about the plate. ITS JUST A PLATE. A PLATEE. You know P-L-A-T-E.
Anyway, so one of the form 2's accidentally left her bottle oon the table, and came back to get it. I think her name was Shalini. Entah lar. So yeah. And one of us, kept asking her to take the plate, and she got her knickers in a twist and said ; It's my friends plate, why are you asking me to take it?"
I already had a lot of things on my mind, so I just couldnt take the noise and all the arguing involved. so I told the person who asked Shalini to take the plate, to forget it. Then I pulak kena marah, whatever larr. When people are angry at you, don't retaliate, makes things worse. and I'm speaking from experience. So after the person was done arguing with me. I just walked away. I mean. If they're going to argue over a plate, might as well let them do it. So I left. I wanted to take the plate with me and just put it in that basin thing but yeah forgot to. So yeah, I ended up rehating with Damia, Mas, Sara and all. Damia and me were walking and talking to see cik Foo. Damia was talking to Cik Foo. I was doing the thing I do best, leaning against a wall, silently. And this group of form 1's came up to me and asked me if I was Maria Monash. I said yeah. Then they started talking about me, in front of me.
One of them said that In SSP, she looked up to the gang and me, cause we ruled the school. literally. We made our presence known. I dont know how that happened cause all we did was have fun.
Then another one said I was an all star player, she meant in sports. -.-
I dont know where that came from.
The rest said cause we were cool and I rocked at dancing and all that. I was just standing there and nodding. Then Cik Foo said "Maria. Since when you're so famous with the form 1's?"
Me: "uhhhhhhhh.............uhhhhhhh........don't know lar teacher."
Then she laughed and walked away.
0__________0

Then the day went on as its normal boring self.  A lot of form 1's came and asked me if I was me/ looked at my name tag and all, then whispered amongst themselves and walked away. A few made me take a picture with them. Most of them were from SSP, then I guess they just told they're friends or something. I dont know. I dont care either.

At around 2, Cynta, Adline and me went to amcorp to lepak. wasnt really fun. kinda boring. cause well I was thinking. as usual. aish. But there were fun parts here and there. I bought another pick! :D

Are'nt you supposed to live your life to the fullest?
Do whatever you want,
be who you want to be, dream big. and all that jazz ?????

If what you want to be is an idiot who only thinks about PMR, well that's up to you. It's just so annoying, how everyone is so caught up with PMR. It.is.very.the.annoying.
I am a lil bit worried about PMR. but I want to laugh, dance and be jolly too. not just study, tuition, study study, mann, isnt that boring and annoying?
Talk about other things people. Aisho.
Everything is so boring lately. Is everyone getting more and more mature or is it just me?
Aish.
Or maybe I'm still caught up with all the stuff running through my head that I dont notice the fun things in life?
I.dont.know.

There's so many things I want to say, but I'm just not the kind of person who shares.....
Truth is, sure I tell people secrets....but they're not really secrets, yet they're secrets. I tell them the secrets that I'm not that bothered about. The real secrets, I keep to myself.
Ever since I was a kid, I've built this wall around my heart, not to see if anyone cares to break it down. But just idk, to prevent myself from getting hurt.....again. Yes, I can't believe that I'm saying this on my blog, but yeah. I haven't emo-ed this year. It was my new year's resolution. I just get lost in thought, and don't feel like saying anything after. NOT EMO-ING.

PMD was so boring. Now back to studies and staying back. aishhh.
Well, you only have to put with this for one more year, Mia.

Mia ; . . . . .

My class is so quiet. I miss 2A. So boring mann, 3C. Aishh..... -.-
Nick and Leon gave me, you know that small cute plushy thing..... I think it's called a Domokun! So I have 3 now....
Thanks to you people! :D
Back to school.....and on the first day itself we got homework.
Teachers should be banned from giving us homework on the first day of school. Its. not. cool.
Alya and Yen Fern have stopped blogging.....
They're studying for PMR.
whatever.
Australia.....Australia....Australia.
The only thing I can think about now.
Seriously. Teachers should be banned from giving us homework.
Aisho.
I found all these french stuff in my room....so I made use of them. Wheee! :D
Nick's writting another song. -.-
again. -.-

Homework. Homework. Homework.
I haven't FB'd in ages. no internet. right now, I'm using my dad's office computer, illegally.
What time is it?
4.25pm.
Okay,
Aren't you hungry?
Have a strawberry.
They scare me.
Are'nt strawberries scary to you?

Everyones depressed. 2 people depressified my notebook. You know who you are..... -kenings kenings-
-sneeze-

Oh yeah, Happy New Year Ebbybody!!
teehee.....

Thick black pens are awesome. Thin ones too. Aren't they awesome?
:D
Oh, I bought this keychain with a panda on it.....
It's adorable. cause it looks hynotic.
Panda's are cool larrr people.
I named it. . . .
Okay I didnt name it. Who names a keychain?
-.-

Anyway, It's gonna rain. Perfect for sleeping.
Time to listen to songs.
Goodbye.

There's too much change going on everywhere.....and about 85% of it, is not good.....I repeat Not Good!. Aisshhhh......it was starting to piss me off when I found out that our classes changed.....aishh.... Adline and Lavynia and me were supposed to be in 3C, and eva and oli were s'posed to be in 3D. hahaha.....now Adline and me are in 3E, Lavynia and Cynta are in 3B. Sie Mone is 3A, Alya and Oli are in 3F. I'm not sure about the rest though......I don't give a damn what class I'm in......but sometimes change can get really annoying.....
Aishhh.....

Getting more and more emotionless day by day......

"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket" -MiaMo (c)

Christmas...it used to be such a tradition. But I guess traditions change as people change as the clock keeps ticking. Sad really. This christmas it took a toll on us all. The first christmas without Grandma and BJ.

I don't get it....
I don't get girls to be precise. Well most of em anyway.
So dramatic.
Holidays.....hmmmm.....well I've been the walking dead for about a month now....
Emotionless......not to say totally emotionless but about 80 percent of my 'emotions' are artificial.
Live with it, people.
Just not in the mood to be... ME.

I have to go. Today's the last performance. at Subang Parade, 7.30pm. Come watch!

When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”

''Well, what a coincidence,' smiled the man. 'A dollar and eleven cents - the exact price of a miracle for little brothers.' He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said 'Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need.' That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.  'That surgery,' her Mom whispered. 'was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?' Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost ... one dollar and eleven cents ... plus the faith of a little child.

Source :  Sofea Ghani

I look at my family....everyone seems to have moved on since you left.....everyone except grandad and me.
At night I sit on my bed, look out the window and cry. Then I reread all the letter I wrote to you since you left. I try to accept the fact that your gone. It's hard, you know.
It's as if everyone's forgotten you.....almost everyone.
I guess they just moved on.....
It was 8.30am on my birthday that you finally stopped fighting.....
I was asleep without a clue that you'd be gone when I woke up.

Then boom.....Mom woke me up and said.....that....you left. It didnt hit me till 10minutes later.

I guess you knew, didn't you? That you had to go....yet you wanted to see me turn 14, but that morning Mom said you slept peacefully....even the nurse said so. You left us peacefully...but why did you have to leave me behind?

Today.......marks the day that Alex left Nick and me. Alex...she was well, Alex. She was depressed....and her family wasn't a happy one. She took her own life.....We were the first to find out. Next to her were 5 letters....one for me, one for Nick, one for Henry, one for Titanium, and one for both her parents.
The letter she wrote for me was sad....6 pages of truth from a tortured soul. put me to tears....
It's been a year....yet it still feels as though it was yesterday that the 4 of us were sitting on that abandoned bridge above the stream eating french fries and laughing our heads off. Snapping goofy pictures. But that peaceful look on your face when we saw you. It was unforgettable.......

BJ : You left me too.....WHY?? You were an awesome guy.....always happy and cheerful....Why'd you take away ur own life last week??? You helped get through the funeral....and the memorial. YOU..yes YOU were my shoulder to cry on.

I miss you guys so much.

Henry, one of my top best friends......is in a coma. Nick told me. Nick had flew him down here.....from NZ. Went to see him in hosp yesterday....looked into the window and saw him there, eyes closed, heart rate slow.....he looked so hurt and sad....I couldn't bring myself to touch the door handle....I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry......Henry, get well soon...I need you.

Okay yeah.....Jon? We gotta postpone it yeah........stuck in Ipoh.
I've been writting letters to Grandma....since the day of her funeral. Letters that mean so much, that would never get sent. So i bought a pretty gift box and put em inside and hid it. teehee.

This is a long post, i know. but well it's a blog aint it?

People keep saying "cheer up", "she's / they're in a better place", "you'll meet them someday", "they're always in your heart"

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell....

 Dear Friend,
Please be patient with me; I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time.
Please don't take away my grief or try to fix my pain. The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulder. Don't be afraid to cry with me. Your tears will tell me how much you care.
Please forgive me if I seem insensitive to your problems. I feel depleted and drained, like an empty vessel, with nothing left to give.
Please let me express my feelings and talk about my memories. Feel free to share your own stories of my loved one with me. I need to hear them.
Please understand why I must turn a deaf ear to criticism or tired clich

a poem I thought was nice

At first, I wanted to post about DYC then later decided that I wouldnt do it now, cause well.....probably going to be a very ze' long one.....so yeah.....
Been wanting to watch Heaven's Postman for ages....finally got to....
Credits to Jon.
Hahaaha.......ZOMG! It was the best movie I've ever seen.....
JJ looked so Hotttttt in it.... :P
hahaha....epicness.....
.Jae Joon was at the postbox browsing through the letters..
suddenly Ha Na came..

Ha Na: YO! -Very happily-

Jae Joon: -pauses-....-stares at her for a few seconds then mumbles- YO. 

Epic moment mann

Saying Goodbye

So soft the brief touch of your lips on my cheek. Was I almost intruding? "Look after yourself " should have been "I love you!" Then the Jumbo flew over my head and I shouted my love above the roar and thundering thrust . . . as if you'd hear. Through the clouds in my eyes I watched you fly away and wished I'd been born with wings.

Labels: Poems

Drying Your Tears
by Ruth Kephart
	Tear drops fall from your blue eyes and my heart stops a beat at their sight. I pull you close to me, try to take the pain from you, make it my own. My cheek lays against yours and your tears burn my face as I whisper, "Darling, it will be all right." My tears blend with your own, your pain now mine, and our tears become one as they fall in rivers on the sheets. I dry your tears with kisses, soft upon your face, shelter you from pain in the recesses of my love. Our bed becomes a chalice and we drink in each others sorrow, finding salvation in each other's arms; pain washed away giving rise to passion 'till we forget there ever were tears.

 An Angel Cared. by anonymous

Maddening, swirling, tumultuous thoughts give my heart no peace
Muscles tensing, heart's wrenching, longing for release
Walled off from emotions, numbed to dreams of bliss
Frantically grasping for a hold, sliding further into the abyss
All color drains from my world, subtle shades of gray permeate
Broken shards cast illusions, hope falsely propagates
A former warrior, battle tested, I frantically disguise my fears
Resolve dissolves, nervousness abounds as my refuge disappears
As autumn's cycle nears an end, the ice begins to advance
Stealthily attacking, patiently awaiting for a perfect chance
A frozen heart, desolate and bare, obscures all that would try to see
The warmth reflected, gives off no heat, illusions mask reality
On hands and knees, mumbling pleas, I search for sanctuary
To glimpse beyond this desolation, to a world of possibility
Eyes closed, perceptions peeked, it hovers beyond my reach
A whispered supplication, alone, these barriers I cannot breach
A gentle touch, delicate and warm, I feel her reach for me
Chasing back the shadows, an angel, cradles my sanity
Relaxing, drifting, smiling, I find comfort in her embrace
My savior and redeemer, a sassy smile upon her face
I close my eyes and search within, I'll trust my instincts this time
I feel a heart of gold as her passion's unfold, a beauty so sublime
Peace radiates from her body, a warmth soaks into my soul
A smile reflects a love so deep, my heart I cannot control
Illusions shimmer and are gone, my world is bright and true
Spring marches forth with determination as my life begins anew
To pass beyond is what I sought, but dreams do not compare
To the reality of this wonderland graced by an angel so fair
Dreams shared, rendezvous dared, we joined together as one
The bonds of my enslavement have been lifted, my battle finally won
No regrets can be found, my reflections bring no remorse
Love that binds, as the tendrils climbed lead me down this course
Peace and comfort fill my soul where once only chaos dared
Now love emanates, peace radiates, because an angel cared

Labels: Poems

Yes. I made friends with strangers.....Here's what happened.
I was hanging around Watsons looking for things that I'd need for camp.
So yeah. Then I remembered I needed to get some Deo.
So yeah....these group of chinese guys, probably around 15-18 of age.
I think there were 7 of them.
So yeah, I was just standing there staring at the deodorants figuring out which one to use.
And one of the guys, I think his name was Michaeal came up to me and was like
"Hey, uhmmm.....I know this is a really weird question to ask a stranger but you seem to know what you're doing.......Could you help us choose a deodorant?"
He spoke with a New Zealand accent and in my head I was saying:
ARE YOU PEOPLE SERIOUSLY ASKING SOMEONE ELSE TO CHOOSE YOUR DEODORANT???

So I just pointed at Adidas Energy......and said smell it.
Then he did as he was told and said,
Damn....You really do know what you're doing.
All of us laughed.
So yeah, I chose different deodorants for all 7 guys....and they all liked it and blahblahblah....
Then I paid for mine....and walked out the store...with all the Watsons workers staring at me.....creepy.
Those guys were standing outside the store, so when I went out, I kinda got really shocked. Hahahahha.
They bought me Mc'D's Milo McFlurry,and Fries. I said thanks and one of the guys, Kevin I think.
Said "You're Nick's  "sister" are'nt you?
Me : Yeah.......you guys know him?
Kevin: Yeah, we went to the same school together.
Me: You guys went to Parnell District??
Kevin : Well, Michael did. The rest of us went to USJ12.

I'm like =___________="""""
Me : So, you guys went to USJ12 for 5 years and you still need someone to help you pick deodorant?Rightt....

Some dude, named BJ: Hahahaha, yeah. We suck at that.
Me : Right. Anyway, I have to go now. So yeah
Owen: Wait. Uhmmm, so where is Nick?
Me : He's in Australia right now....but you could hit him up on Facebook
Owen: Right. Uhmm could you give our numbers to him?
Me: -takes piece of paper and walks away- Yeah sure. Thanks for the Mackers!

In the car......

That was really weird, -texts YF, Sie Mone,Lavynia and Damia-

In my head : That was.....Epic.

Mia ; Conflicted