I look at my family....everyone seems to have moved on since you left.....everyone except grandad and me.
At night I sit on my bed, look out the window and cry. Then I reread all the letter I wrote to you since you left. I try to accept the fact that your gone. It's hard, you know.
It's as if everyone's forgotten you.....almost everyone.
I guess they just moved on.....
It was 8.30am on my birthday that you finally stopped fighting.....
I was asleep without a clue that you'd be gone when I woke up.

Then boom.....Mom woke me up and said.....that....you left. It didnt hit me till 10minutes later.

I guess you knew, didn't you? That you had to go....yet you wanted to see me turn 14, but that morning Mom said you slept peacefully....even the nurse said so. You left us peacefully...but why did you have to leave me behind?

Today.......marks the day that Alex left Nick and me. Alex...she was well, Alex. She was depressed....and her family wasn't a happy one. She took her own life.....We were the first to find out. Next to her were 5 letters....one for me, one for Nick, one for Henry, one for Titanium, and one for both her parents.
The letter she wrote for me was sad....6 pages of truth from a tortured soul. put me to tears....
It's been a year....yet it still feels as though it was yesterday that the 4 of us were sitting on that abandoned bridge above the stream eating french fries and laughing our heads off. Snapping goofy pictures. But that peaceful look on your face when we saw you. It was unforgettable.......

BJ : You left me too.....WHY?? You were an awesome guy.....always happy and cheerful....Why'd you take away ur own life last week??? You helped get through the funeral....and the memorial. YOU..yes YOU were my shoulder to cry on.

I miss you guys so much.

Henry, one of my top best friends......is in a coma. Nick told me. Nick had flew him down here.....from NZ. Went to see him in hosp yesterday....looked into the window and saw him there, eyes closed, heart rate slow.....he looked so hurt and sad....I couldn't bring myself to touch the door handle....I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry......Henry, get well soon...I need you.

Okay yeah.....Jon? We gotta postpone it yeah........stuck in Ipoh.
I've been writting letters to Grandma....since the day of her funeral. Letters that mean so much, that would never get sent. So i bought a pretty gift box and put em inside and hid it. teehee.

This is a long post, i know. but well it's a blog aint it?

People keep saying "cheer up", "she's / they're in a better place", "you'll meet them someday", "they're always in your heart"

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell....

 Dear Friend,
Please be patient with me; I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time.
Please don't take away my grief or try to fix my pain. The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulder. Don't be afraid to cry with me. Your tears will tell me how much you care.
Please forgive me if I seem insensitive to your problems. I feel depleted and drained, like an empty vessel, with nothing left to give.
Please let me express my feelings and talk about my memories. Feel free to share your own stories of my loved one with me. I need to hear them.
Please understand why I must turn a deaf ear to criticism or tired clich

a poem I thought was nice

At first, I wanted to post about DYC then later decided that I wouldnt do it now, cause well.....probably going to be a very ze' long one.....so yeah.....
Been wanting to watch Heaven's Postman for ages....finally got to....
Credits to Jon.
Hahaaha.......ZOMG! It was the best movie I've ever seen.....
JJ looked so Hotttttt in it.... :P
hahaha....epicness.....
.Jae Joon was at the postbox browsing through the letters..
suddenly Ha Na came..

Ha Na: YO! -Very happily-

Jae Joon: -pauses-....-stares at her for a few seconds then mumbles- YO. 

Epic moment mann

Saying Goodbye

So soft the brief touch of your lips on my cheek. Was I almost intruding? "Look after yourself " should have been "I love you!" Then the Jumbo flew over my head and I shouted my love above the roar and thundering thrust . . . as if you'd hear. Through the clouds in my eyes I watched you fly away and wished I'd been born with wings.

Labels: Poems

Drying Your Tears
by Ruth Kephart
	Tear drops fall from your blue eyes and my heart stops a beat at their sight. I pull you close to me, try to take the pain from you, make it my own. My cheek lays against yours and your tears burn my face as I whisper, "Darling, it will be all right." My tears blend with your own, your pain now mine, and our tears become one as they fall in rivers on the sheets. I dry your tears with kisses, soft upon your face, shelter you from pain in the recesses of my love. Our bed becomes a chalice and we drink in each others sorrow, finding salvation in each other's arms; pain washed away giving rise to passion 'till we forget there ever were tears.

 An Angel Cared. by anonymous

Maddening, swirling, tumultuous thoughts give my heart no peace
Muscles tensing, heart's wrenching, longing for release
Walled off from emotions, numbed to dreams of bliss
Frantically grasping for a hold, sliding further into the abyss
All color drains from my world, subtle shades of gray permeate
Broken shards cast illusions, hope falsely propagates
A former warrior, battle tested, I frantically disguise my fears
Resolve dissolves, nervousness abounds as my refuge disappears
As autumn's cycle nears an end, the ice begins to advance
Stealthily attacking, patiently awaiting for a perfect chance
A frozen heart, desolate and bare, obscures all that would try to see
The warmth reflected, gives off no heat, illusions mask reality
On hands and knees, mumbling pleas, I search for sanctuary
To glimpse beyond this desolation, to a world of possibility
Eyes closed, perceptions peeked, it hovers beyond my reach
A whispered supplication, alone, these barriers I cannot breach
A gentle touch, delicate and warm, I feel her reach for me
Chasing back the shadows, an angel, cradles my sanity
Relaxing, drifting, smiling, I find comfort in her embrace
My savior and redeemer, a sassy smile upon her face
I close my eyes and search within, I'll trust my instincts this time
I feel a heart of gold as her passion's unfold, a beauty so sublime
Peace radiates from her body, a warmth soaks into my soul
A smile reflects a love so deep, my heart I cannot control
Illusions shimmer and are gone, my world is bright and true
Spring marches forth with determination as my life begins anew
To pass beyond is what I sought, but dreams do not compare
To the reality of this wonderland graced by an angel so fair
Dreams shared, rendezvous dared, we joined together as one
The bonds of my enslavement have been lifted, my battle finally won
No regrets can be found, my reflections bring no remorse
Love that binds, as the tendrils climbed lead me down this course
Peace and comfort fill my soul where once only chaos dared
Now love emanates, peace radiates, because an angel cared

Labels: Poems

Yes. I made friends with strangers.....Here's what happened.
I was hanging around Watsons looking for things that I'd need for camp.
So yeah. Then I remembered I needed to get some Deo.
So yeah....these group of chinese guys, probably around 15-18 of age.
I think there were 7 of them.
So yeah, I was just standing there staring at the deodorants figuring out which one to use.
And one of the guys, I think his name was Michaeal came up to me and was like
"Hey, uhmmm.....I know this is a really weird question to ask a stranger but you seem to know what you're doing.......Could you help us choose a deodorant?"
He spoke with a New Zealand accent and in my head I was saying:
ARE YOU PEOPLE SERIOUSLY ASKING SOMEONE ELSE TO CHOOSE YOUR DEODORANT???

So I just pointed at Adidas Energy......and said smell it.
Then he did as he was told and said,
Damn....You really do know what you're doing.
All of us laughed.
So yeah, I chose different deodorants for all 7 guys....and they all liked it and blahblahblah....
Then I paid for mine....and walked out the store...with all the Watsons workers staring at me.....creepy.
Those guys were standing outside the store, so when I went out, I kinda got really shocked. Hahahahha.
They bought me Mc'D's Milo McFlurry,and Fries. I said thanks and one of the guys, Kevin I think.
Said "You're Nick's  "sister" are'nt you?
Me : Yeah.......you guys know him?
Kevin: Yeah, we went to the same school together.
Me: You guys went to Parnell District??
Kevin : Well, Michael did. The rest of us went to USJ12.

I'm like =___________="""""
Me : So, you guys went to USJ12 for 5 years and you still need someone to help you pick deodorant?Rightt....

Some dude, named BJ: Hahahaha, yeah. We suck at that.
Me : Right. Anyway, I have to go now. So yeah
Owen: Wait. Uhmmm, so where is Nick?
Me : He's in Australia right now....but you could hit him up on Facebook
Owen: Right. Uhmm could you give our numbers to him?
Me: -takes piece of paper and walks away- Yeah sure. Thanks for the Mackers!

In the car......

That was really weird, -texts YF, Sie Mone,Lavynia and Damia-

In my head : That was.....Epic.

Mia ; Conflicted

Today morning. wasnt quite enjoyable. I'm not allowed to go out of this room till later. So yeah. I went online. And so happened Lavynia was online so we were chatting. And Let Me Tell You. That girl went insane. INSANE!
First she was trying to make me go for the outing at Sunway. Malas ah. But I might go, cause I need to help Sie Mone out. SO jyeah.
Then we decided to spam our ex-stalker's wall.
I was waiting for her to start.....-crickets-
So I got bored and started spamming....
Then I told Lavynia that I started spamming and that I didnt see any of her spamming anywhere?
She said : I was waiting for you.
Me        : Bengong.

Then Hanis started spamming me......again. So yeah, i got spammed. Then she started spamming Lavynia...and I was bored so I decided to help her out and started spamming Lavynia too. Lavynia spammed me....then our computers hangged......
=_________="""""

Then Lavynia, Hanis, Me and I think Kau Yee started talking in korean on Facebook.....hahahha.
Then Lavynia went offline. And Hanis chaged her status saying That her MOM is going to STALK ME AND LAVYNIA!!! And i was like that is a cool yet creepy mom...

5 minutes later.......
-phone rings-
-checks caller ID-
Lavynia Hse.

-answers-

She was insane mann......
She was REALLY INSANE!!
hahahha.....i almost ROFL'd.
Her sister and her were telling me how she was talking to a shirt.
DUDE, It's a freaking shirt!!
Then she said bye to ze shirt and went to the kitchen to drink water and started jumping up and down.
Hahahaha.....and in the background her sister is doing summersaults....and saying liar.
Then she proved innocent....
Then the line went dead silent.
Me : HELLOOOOOO???????
Lavynia : Yeah, I'm here. I'm trying to figure out what song your listening to.

Righhhhtttt.t......
The she said she was hungry.
So I said you know what you're supposed to do when you're hungry?
EAT!
Then she laughed, and said bye.
That girl ah.
Tsk Tsk Tsk
Epic man, today morning.
It started out crappy for me, then it was okay. Hanis, Lavynia and Sie Mone made me laugh like crap.
Then Chris made me go insane.
we were wall to wall'ing about butts and death.
No, we aint emo.
Hahahah.
Mia ; need to get out of ze room!!!

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Believe in something bigger than your problems and you will be saved

"In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happenend to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do."

I smile and say that I'm OK, but I turn around and just break down. The pain waits with the light and comes out in the dark to scream at me.

“When life gets difficult when the task becomes tiring when you are about to give up always remember that “the snail got to Noah’s ark inch by inch to survive”
:)

You never really stop loving someone, you just try to live without them.

Hahaha.....Rebekah wanted to play Yiruma on the piano in one of the rooms at Church. So we went up a little earlier...since we had to be there for carolling practice anyway.....
So. Sonia and her sat on the piano bench stool and started playing almost started playing....
As usual.. I was leaning against the wall......
The sport I'm most good at.  Wall leaning.

So just before she could put her finger on a key.....JJ walks in with Jovenne.....and the next thing I knew was there was some "shhhhhhh" sound and that Sonia and Rebekah were standing next to me. That was fast..
Tsk Tsk Tsk
-goes back to my favourite sport.....wall leaning-

Today....Sonia, Rebekah and Me were hanging out in the study room....fooling around on FB, Twitter and Youtube....
All of us got to Ian to bring us water...and....


Woah. Never done that ever.....another weird fact about me......Hehehe. C:
Laughed like Mad Hyena's.

Epic.

Even the girl I know who isnt afraid of anything and doesnt give a shit about stuff can be afraid of dialling numbers and cares a hell lot of it now,

Yes Cynta's talking about me.

Never say I love you: Girl,yes you: "I cant believe your moving . Still now I cant . Ive been crying all day,hoping you would stay .Im praying now that you wont say goodbye,fig..."

We built it like a castle of sand
And we held it in the palm of our hands
Never let it blow away in the wind
Or we'd catch it, put it back together again
 
I still don't
Remember life before
You came inside
And opened up that door
You're an angel I've
Never known a love like yours
Something special that's for sure
Cause I stay up late night and wait for your call
When I hear your voice nothing matters at all
Girl, I got no choice I just can't help but fall for you

When you're scared and lonely just pick up the phone
You're my one and only, you're never alone
There is no hope for me it's too late I've fallen for you

Life.....
I saved the news and kinda broke it to them today....
That I MIGHT NOT be here for next year.
It was easier then telling them like last week ....
Jyeahhh.....enough of that......
Yesterday was Jia Yi's birthday!!
So. Nisha bought a cake and brought it today....
And jyeahh.....she cut it. Then Pn.Ranchani called us into the billik disiplin cause of that. =.=
And there were at least 10 people there........'human gang'
So yeah, we got lectured bout it.....
And Lavynia and me zoned out.....
So I asked her 'what's happening?'
She said 'No idea'
-nods-
Then both of us were just standing there like zombies with our hand in the pocket with a 'when is this gonna end?' expression......
IN THE END.....AFTER ALL THE LECTURING.....we just kena demerit....i was like....
Dash dot dash dot dash dot dash.
-.-.-.-

Pn. Loh retired today.....she said quote 'when you're looking for a husband follow your head not your heart' 
Damn, imma miss her....
School's gonna be over this Friday.....
 

Had no mood during school today...... just wanted to curl up on my bed, stare out the window and cry. 
:)
And yeah, imma talk them into staying.

Mia; puzzled

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy
Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you’re here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream

Why is it that everywhere I go, I hear that song........
It's so sad, mann.....
Cried myself to sleep last night.
Too many thoughts running through my head......

Yesterday wasn't really a good day for me....
Had no mood. at all.
Just wanted a hug. a sincere one.
Didnt get one :(
But yeah.....
The times I laughed and smiled yesterday were all fake....
yeah, I can act okay......
:/
Things have been bothering me lately.
Trying to not think about them.
I can survive the day doing that.....
But once night falls......
; I'm a house of cards in a hurricane.

Trying to let go and move on is harder than I though it would be.

School ends next week.......
God, I dont want it to end.........
Imma miss the laughter.

Mia ; thoughts are running through my head as tears run slowly down my cheek

Honestly, at first I didn't know, though it was an accidental encounter

Till now, I've learned more about sorrow than happiness

Though I was full of tears, I will bring you only laughter

I must have finally found my other half

My heart is racing like this

Found you my love, The person I've been searching for

I want to share a heated embrace with you

Stay still and close your eyes

love you, its you who I love...

 I can't have you 
by nicholas c. yap

Everything was simple
Everything was fine
I knew I couldn't have you
And I knew why

I tried to move on
I dated other guys
But then we'd hang out
And I knew, to myself I lied.

You noticed me drifting
You said "please explain"
But, I didn't want to loose you
So, I tried to deal with the pain.

It's hard to be with you
It gets harder each day
When I look in your eyes
I feel my body floating away

I miss the way it used to be
You don't feel the change
You don't know I really love you
I'm sure to you, it's just a game

As I close my eyes tonight
I'll pray as I was taught to do
I'll pray that you realize that
I love you, but I can't have you

I never really knew you
You were just another friend
But when I got to know you,
I let my heart unbend.
I couldn't help past memories
that would only make me cry
I had to forget my first love
and give love another try
So I've fallen in love with you
and I'll never let you go
I love you more than anyone
I just had to let you know
And if you ever wonder why
I don't know what I'll say
But I'll never stop loving you
each and every day
My feelings for you will never change
Just know my feelings are true
Just remember one thing
I Love You!

Labels: Poems

It's becoming more evident
Much more obvious to me
I thought much more of you
Than you ever thought of me

Was this my biggest mistake
Letting myself think you cared
Was I just your marionette
With heartstrings open and bared

With me left here still thinking
What was false, what was true
So puzzling and so complex
I’m left to await another clue

On my heartstings you played
Each left with a loving memory
Yet I still have those questions
Do you ever think about me

I’m wondering why all the intrigue
Now why all of this mystery
Why am I left here hanging
Your the one that holds the key. 
-mia- 

Thinking Of You by Nicholas C. Yap

As I sit here alone, My thoughts are only of you - Remembering the tremendous love That has been shared. A touch that is so soft, Yet has struck my soul to the core - A look so tender and true, It shakes the very life within. As I sit here alone, My thoughts are only of you - I want to tell you How much I miss you. Silly, I know, it has only been moments. The time that we are not together Seems to pass so slowly. As I sit here alone, My thought are only of you - I wait with great anticipation, Longing to be once again in your arms For the reassurance I see in your eyes, To share again your warmth and laughter. As I sit here alone, My thoughts are only of you - We know that love is for the here and now; It isn't always forever. Through painful lessons in life, That is what we have learned. As I sit here alone, My thoughts are only of you - Remembering the tremendous love That has been shared, A touch that is so soft, Yet has struck my soul to the core. A look so tender and true, It shakes the very life within. As I sit here alone My thoughts are only of you - Maybe we can learn once again That love can be forever

I sit here thinking alone in the rain, thinking of my sorrow, misery, and pain. 
I sit here listening to the thunder crashing down, 
knowing my life is better when you’re around. 
As I sit here watching the storm roll on, 
all I think about is you, and how you are gone.
As I look at the dark clouds above, 
I sit here and wonder whom you’re thinking of. 
It’s like the sky is crying and I am too, thinking of how I’m missing you.
I miss your hugs and gentle touch, and the way you tell me you care for me so much. 
I miss the way you tell that i'm not okay and cheer me up, 
I hope that  your feelings are  real and not a figment of my imagination. 
Now as I look up at the clear sky above, I’m thinking of you, and I think I’m in love.
-mia-

"I can't help but sit here and think about all the stupid stuff we've done together. I wouldn't want to be stupid with anyone else but you."

Yeah, as you guys heard we suprised Yen Fern on her birthday....
Her parents knew, so her dad took her and her sis out for futsal and we ransacked her house, put deco up, filled waterballoons.....and trashed her guest room.....muahahhaaha.
We played that apples in the bucket thingy, and water fight!! All in all...GILER FUN!
Pictographs!! ;D

Filling the normal balloons with water

Get the apple peole!!

After getting soaked...

Group picture!! Lavynia is the football!! ;D

Sangeetha just watches....

I was walking in a park today, with a few friends......mainly guys.
We were walking, fooling around and one of them had brought his little sister along, and so she quickly made friends....and all.So yeah....
10 minutes later....

This guy's little sister, Mallory came up to me with this bunch of little kids and said
"Can we ask you something?"
"Yeah...sure...ask away"
I stood there terpegun and all the dudes started laughing like insane maniacs.
"Yeahhh.......why??"
"You act like them......and we think you're a guy"
"Okay......-still terpegun-"
"So, you're sure you're a girl?"
"Okay....now not so much"

Kids walk away........
I started laughing when I realized that I did act like one of the guys, a lot like the guys.....
Maybe I just have 2 personalities.
I could be a guy in a girl's body.
Hahaha......
That was the epic moment of the day!
:)

Mia ; Is really a guy in a girl's body ;)

"I know it's not you're fault,
But I'm a locked door,
An inside I'm a mess,
By people before,
And I wish that I, I could find a key
To unlock all the things that you want us to be
Let me open up and start again,
But there’s a safe around my heart
I don’t know how to let you in,
And that’s what keeps us apart
And that’s why I need time.
I said I need you,
I need you to understand"

I'm not the kind of person, who lets everything out....
Last time I did that,
It was used against me,
That felt like a dozen knives being stabbed into my back.
That's probably why I started building walls up,
I get sad......,
I get mad.....,
Friend's ask why ?,
I just shrug.

I wonder who would even take the time, breaking these walls down.
I don't think I can handle it anymore.....
Too much, being kept in.
TOO MUCH I TELL YOU!

Laughter and smiles, people say are the best cure....
They're also the best disguise....
Ever thought my happiness was a disguise?
Bet it never crossed you're mind.....at all.
Sometimes it is,
Sometimes it isn't
Ha.Ha.Ha.
Got you're mind boggling now, don't I?

hahhahahaha......... teehee.
Chillax ah wei........
:)

Mia ; needs a hug. ;)

Have you ever been in a situation where someone critics you in a playful manner? & It hurts you? & you would like the critic them back with a way better reason? But you're afraid of hurting them?

Don't you just want his hair???
OMG!

So Fine.

Hott!!! Can die......especially the hair......<3

TaeMin <3
The attractive hair!
Like ZOMBIE G!!!
THE HAIR!!!
I want it.
smexay!
Okay i'm officially going insane!

Mia ; officially insane :)

“The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don’t let you have them.”

Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for cramps. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. Its true. Guys DO insult you if they like you. Having someone rub your tummy when it hurts actually helps it. 89% of guys would want girls to make the first move. Girls love it when Guys hug them from behind the waist. Girls love it when guys let them wear their hoodie or jacket. Guys think its cute when you mess up. A true friend will NEVER judge you.There is only one guy who is worth your tears. If you have a dream about someone, then that person went to sleep thinking about you. More guys than girls will read this. ♥

"You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows." 

"True friends are like diamonds precious but rare. fake friends are like fall leaves found everywhere."

Walk around your city and appreciate the colour, texture and smell of the things that surround you. Even a rock is special. :)

"Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word Loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone."

Yesh yeshh......
It was Yen Fern vs Yen Fern.
Explanation : Heng Yen Fern (The blurr one)
                              vs.
                    Pn. Yeo Yen Fern (The expressionless one) a.k.a Science teacher


during science, we had a quiz.....so yeah....EPIC MOMENT!

Yen Fern : *answers question*
Pn. Yeo   : You sure?
Yen Fern : -nods-
Pn.Yeo    : very sure? -suspense-
Yen Fern : -nods blurrly-
Pn. Yeo   : very very very sure? Is that you're final answer?
                *TOO MUCH SUSPENSE*
Alya : Woah! Woah! Woaahhhh! Woahh! Woah!
         -potong steam ah, Alya!!-
Yen Fern : Yup
Pn. Yeo : -checks answer-

Alya : Woahh -hits Yen Fern- Woah.... -hits me- WOAHHH!!! -stares at teacher-

Hahahahha, Alya potong steam!!! :P
EPIC MOMENT!!!
"THE COOL" is so COOL!

Seriously.....
Don't.
Everytime someone piss's me off, I walk away.
but you're seriously pissing me off....
Don't.
Trust me, I can do things you never thought I could....
So..
Don't piss me off.
Got it?

You walked into my Life, when my world was dark and cold,
you held out your arms, and my heart and soul you did hold.
You promised you would never leave, that you would always be there,
I never knew that I meant so much, that my heart was worth enough to care.

You showed me so many things, I started to dream of you every night,
you melted the coldness in my heart, with the warmth of your light.
I ended up falling for you, how could I not -
you're an Angel in disguise, and every touch from you makes my soul hot.

But then you told me it's not the same. for you only think of me as a friend,
I cannot understand this, the wrong messages you did send.
I never knew you bought your friend flowers, and touched them like a lover,
I never knew you held your friends' hand and caressed them under the covers.

I am so far, I cannot turn back now, you are My Best friend,
so what do I do now. I don't know much, except here I am again
in Love with another man who only wants to be my friend.

I'm not sure if this is wrong, then again I don't know what's right,
I will Love You Anyways, even if its a lonely fight.
-Melissa Ann Burman-

"I can't imagine it any other way. A world without you is only wasted space"
-Mia-

I know how it feels like,
when your best friend cries....
Even though you've always been there for with a shoulder to cry on,
She goes to someone else,
So what if you dont know what to say,
At least you're still there.

But when she walks away from you,
With tear filled eyes.
It feels like your friendship just turned into dust, that wind blew away.
In you're head, you're screaming
"MAYDAY MAYDAY!"
But she doesnt even look back.
At that moment,
I saw it in you're eyes.
The pain,
The hurt.
I gave you a hug,
To tell you that I knew what you were going through.

Sometimes people just don't realize what's right in front of them.
I bet she's gonna come running back.
Tomorrow, you see.
" xxxx, why so emo???"
She'll ask you that question a million times,
Then she'll be emo.
I think you should just tell her why.

Hahaha.......You know who you are.......i bet you do.
-Mia-

When I look into these eyes
I find things no one else ever catches a glimpse at
I see this fear of judgment

that makes her cower at confrontation
I see this hopelessness for the future

that make her choices her burden alone
I see this desperate need for companionship to make her strong

in the savage world of humans
I see this courage

caged in her thoughts of inferiority
I see these thoughts of abandonment

that make her cling to anything
I see this devotion to her beliefs

that makes her fear death
And I hate  that the person I always see is me.
 
-Mia-

You work so hard to deal with this thing,
The fact that you have it and the problems it brings.
So when you finally get control of this flaw,
Everyone around you seems to watch you in awe.

You never learn why it’s happened to you,
And you must work that much harder to make dreams come true.
But what’s happened has happened, and it’s now part of life
So why give up in yourself, why live with such strife.

The best you can do is fight back twice as hard,
Just be careful, make right choices and play the right cards.

As they say what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger,
It’s been here for awhile, it’ll be here for a while longer.
So why can’t people see past this technicality,
Having problems with my breathing is now my specialty.
I should have a master’s degree in what to do,
So please don’t treat me any different, I’m just the same as you.
When people have pity it just makes me feel sad,
Do you think it makes me feel better, well it makes me so mad.
I can’t stand the fact that people look at me and stare,
What you don’t think I can see you, oh I know you’re there.

I know what I can, and cannot do,
So why try to stop me, it’s not up to you.


If I want to work my ass off until death,
Let it be that way, let me use my last breath.
I’d rather go through life living, even if it is in pain,
Rather then sitting all day, slowly going insane.
So now that you know just how it has to be,
Are you going to treat me right, or like a baby.
I don’t care what you think is the best thing to do,
If you can’t support me and my choices, then the heck with you

-Mia-

Secrets, secrets
Lies, lies
She sits in her room,
and cries and cries.
There's no more trust
In this girl's heart.
She finally found out
That life isn't perfect.

She lived in dreams,
As children often do.
But she crawled out
Into the world everyone knew.
Things that once were.

Happiness once known;
The truth of it all
To her was shown.
Her little heart
Will never trust again.
She'll never know
A real true friend.

No more trust,
For no more lies.
She'll sit in her room
And cry and cry

-Mia-

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you,
And those memories,
And how every song reminds me of
what used to be......

Don't cry,
I can't stand it,
I'm sorry for hurting you.
I know I did,
Pretty badly.
I'm sorry.
I'll cheer you up, when you're down.
Just don't cry.
Please?
I still love you.
Just not as much as I used to.
I'm no longer you're 'lover' now I'm just you're friend.
Please stop crying,
Cause if you don't,
I am going to kill you and me.
:) Caramel Cookie! :)

Walking along the sky
Chasing a glimpse of you
Painting a world with stars I found inside your eyes
Up here above the haze
Everything looks so clear
Wondering what it would be like if you were here


And time takes time (takes time)
But I can't wait
To tell you how I feel

{chorus}
Oh, you're the calm when my world is crashing
My heart, my blood, my passion
Why, tell me why
You're everything but mine

I hold you close when it all goes crazy
And through it all, you'll be my lady
Why, tell me why
You're everything
Everything but mine


You don't have to be afraid
Of somebody else's touch
Just gimme a chance to prove
Just how you should be loved


And time, it takes time ( takes time)
It's not too late
To tell you how I feel
[Repeat Chorus]

Everything but mine
Mine I know, oh baby
Someday you'll come around
I'm gonna leave the light on
And I won't let you down
No I won't let you down


I won't let you down
[Repeat Chorus]


You're everything but mine
You're everything but mine
You're the sun, you're the star
You're the moon, you're the rain
Love your lips, love your eyes
Drivin' me insane, oh baby, baby
Everything but mine
You're everything but mine

Nick Yap ©

2nd of Oct was my birthday....
Usually, other people had a party, a cake, presents and you know, those birthday stuff....
I didn't....
My beloved grandmother passed away at 8.45am
We knew she didn't have much time left,
But I never thought that she would leave us this early....
I didn't spend much time with her when she was ill.
I took the time she had left for granted.
I regret.
The first thing I heard that morning, was her passing....
I was heartbroken,
Shocked,
Speechless,
I just sat on my bed, dumbfounded.
Then Mom said, go get ready.....I did as i was told...
We walked into my cousin's house, it was filled with people crying...
I walked into her room,
Saw her there, breatheless.
And cried, I cried so much.....
The memory of being there, only the last night, seeing that radiant smile.
And now seeing her there, lifeless.
It all came back to me....
The joy, that smile, the love she had for the whole family.....
All those memories...
I just couldn't believe what was happening.....
After I calmed down, I looked at the obituary my cousin was doing for her, and saw one of the quotes, Grandma used ever so often....
"Death
Lavynia, Damia and Sau Mun cheered me up that night....
Thanks all of ya'll with the hugs, condolences, words of comfort and attempts of cheering me up.... :)
She's gone now....
My closest family
One of my best friends

"i look up at the sky, knowing that among the clouds and the stars, you're up there watching and smilling upon us"

I <3 YOU, GRANDMA!!!

"When I First Saw You
I Was Afraid To Talk To You,
When I First Talked To You
I Was Afraid To Like You,
When I First Liked You
I Was Afraid To Love You,
Now That  I Love You
I'm Afraid To Lose You."

"If you love someone, tell them...
for hearts are often broken
by words left unspoken"

‎"I can't help falling in love with you. I can't stop thinking about you."

 

<3

The sweetest thing, a guy can do to a girl is hug her from behind..........I just think that is soo sweet.....Another sweet thing is write a long list of reasons whhy you love her/him..........ahhhhhh.........

"Welcome to a world ;
Where people talk about each other
and everyone lies,
and everyone tries to be something they're not
and nobody can keep a secret
and friendship that lasted forever were broken
yeah well......
It's called LIFE"

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying
Live like we’re dying

A lot of people will tell you, "I really want to be happy!"
But what do they think about?
What do they dwell on?
What do they talk about?"

When you really want to be happy,
you quit complaining about your arthritis.

When you really want to be happy, you quit resenting
your boyfriend. Maybe you leave him, maybe you don't,
but either way, you throw out your mental list of all his faults.

People become addicted to misery and complaining.
Mary says, "Well this happened so I have to talk about it."
No you don't, Mary!

You don't have to eat everything you see and
you don't have to talk about everything that happens.

When you really, really want to be happy, here is what will happen:
• you will think about things that make you feel good
• you will talk about things that make you feel good.

You become what you think about.

Smile! Dance! Laugh You're Head Off!

"A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy"


Things happened between....Damia, me and Nick.
Scary.......so a fake letter was invented to stop the rumours.
IT worked. MACAM TA-DA!!!!
The girls said sorry and all that crap.
muahahhahaha.
Then....then....nevermind.
I'm watching Glee season 2 Episode 1.
like FWAHHHHH!!!!
I like the chinese guy. He can DANCE like Damnnnn......






"The day you finally decide to love me will be the day after the day I have given up on chasing you"

Dudududududu.........
There are things about me you dont know.
ChengChengCheng.......hahah. but Damia knows.
"The saddest thing is loving someone who loves you, but both of us keep it a secret."

 The convo between lavynia and her mom today. ROFL


Mom: Hey, make yourself useful
Lavynia: I am
Mom: How??
Lavynia: I am contributing to nature
Mom: How??
Lavynia: Im not moving, it's called saving energy

Hehehe, i was supposed to be doing my Geo Folio but...........
Anyway, i decided to Revive my twitter......and create a new tumblr. So here are the links....
miamonash.tumblr.com
www.twitter.com/miamonash

Kay Kay??
Follow Follow tahu!!
Eep EEppp.....
Hahahah......
Ive gone bonkers!!!

Damn........I have a headache.......
Grrrrr...........
It feels like there's an oversized woodpecker in my head trying to
GET OUT!
And it's going peck,peck.....peck,peck......
OUCH!