Don't cry,
I can't stand it,
I'm sorry for hurting you.
I know I did,
Pretty badly.
I'm sorry.
I'll cheer you up, when you're down.
Just don't cry.
Please?
I still love you.
Just not as much as I used to.
I'm no longer you're 'lover' now I'm just you're friend.
Please stop crying,
Cause if you don't,
I am going to kill you and me.
:) Caramel Cookie! :)

Walking along the sky
Chasing a glimpse of you
Painting a world with stars I found inside your eyes
Up here above the haze
Everything looks so clear
Wondering what it would be like if you were here


And time takes time (takes time)
But I can't wait
To tell you how I feel

{chorus}
Oh, you're the calm when my world is crashing
My heart, my blood, my passion
Why, tell me why
You're everything but mine

I hold you close when it all goes crazy
And through it all, you'll be my lady
Why, tell me why
You're everything
Everything but mine


You don't have to be afraid
Of somebody else's touch
Just gimme a chance to prove
Just how you should be loved


And time, it takes time ( takes time)
It's not too late
To tell you how I feel
[Repeat Chorus]

Everything but mine
Mine I know, oh baby
Someday you'll come around
I'm gonna leave the light on
And I won't let you down
No I won't let you down


I won't let you down
[Repeat Chorus]


You're everything but mine
You're everything but mine
You're the sun, you're the star
You're the moon, you're the rain
Love your lips, love your eyes
Drivin' me insane, oh baby, baby
Everything but mine
You're everything but mine

Nick Yap ©

2nd of Oct was my birthday....
Usually, other people had a party, a cake, presents and you know, those birthday stuff....
I didn't....
My beloved grandmother passed away at 8.45am
We knew she didn't have much time left,
But I never thought that she would leave us this early....
I didn't spend much time with her when she was ill.
I took the time she had left for granted.
I regret.
The first thing I heard that morning, was her passing....
I was heartbroken,
Shocked,
Speechless,
I just sat on my bed, dumbfounded.
Then Mom said, go get ready.....I did as i was told...
We walked into my cousin's house, it was filled with people crying...
I walked into her room,
Saw her there, breatheless.
And cried, I cried so much.....
The memory of being there, only the last night, seeing that radiant smile.
And now seeing her there, lifeless.
It all came back to me....
The joy, that smile, the love she had for the whole family.....
All those memories...
I just couldn't believe what was happening.....
After I calmed down, I looked at the obituary my cousin was doing for her, and saw one of the quotes, Grandma used ever so often....
"Death
Lavynia, Damia and Sau Mun cheered me up that night....
Thanks all of ya'll with the hugs, condolences, words of comfort and attempts of cheering me up.... :)
She's gone now....
My closest family
One of my best friends

"i look up at the sky, knowing that among the clouds and the stars, you're up there watching and smilling upon us"

I <3 YOU, GRANDMA!!!

"When I First Saw You
I Was Afraid To Talk To You,
When I First Talked To You
I Was Afraid To Like You,
When I First Liked You
I Was Afraid To Love You,
Now That  I Love You
I'm Afraid To Lose You."

"If you love someone, tell them...
for hearts are often broken
by words left unspoken"

‎"I can't help falling in love with you. I can't stop thinking about you."

 

<3

The sweetest thing, a guy can do to a girl is hug her from behind..........I just think that is soo sweet.....Another sweet thing is write a long list of reasons whhy you love her/him..........ahhhhhh.........

"Welcome to a world ;
Where people talk about each other
and everyone lies,
and everyone tries to be something they're not
and nobody can keep a secret
and friendship that lasted forever were broken
yeah well......
It's called LIFE"

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying
Live like we’re dying

A lot of people will tell you, "I really want to be happy!"
But what do they think about?
What do they dwell on?
What do they talk about?"

When you really want to be happy,
you quit complaining about your arthritis.

When you really want to be happy, you quit resenting
your boyfriend. Maybe you leave him, maybe you don't,
but either way, you throw out your mental list of all his faults.

People become addicted to misery and complaining.
Mary says, "Well this happened so I have to talk about it."
No you don't, Mary!

You don't have to eat everything you see and
you don't have to talk about everything that happens.

When you really, really want to be happy, here is what will happen:
• you will think about things that make you feel good
• you will talk about things that make you feel good.

You become what you think about.

Smile! Dance! Laugh You're Head Off!

"A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy"


Things happened between....Damia, me and Nick.
Scary.......so a fake letter was invented to stop the rumours.
IT worked. MACAM TA-DA!!!!
The girls said sorry and all that crap.
muahahhahaha.
Then....then....nevermind.
I'm watching Glee season 2 Episode 1.
like FWAHHHHH!!!!
I like the chinese guy. He can DANCE like Damnnnn......






"The day you finally decide to love me will be the day after the day I have given up on chasing you"

Dudududududu.........
There are things about me you dont know.
ChengChengCheng.......hahah. but Damia knows.
"The saddest thing is loving someone who loves you, but both of us keep it a secret."

 The convo between lavynia and her mom today. ROFL


Mom: Hey, make yourself useful
Lavynia: I am
Mom: How??
Lavynia: I am contributing to nature
Mom: How??
Lavynia: Im not moving, it's called saving energy

Hehehe, i was supposed to be doing my Geo Folio but...........
Anyway, i decided to Revive my twitter......and create a new tumblr. So here are the links....
miamonash.tumblr.com
www.twitter.com/miamonash

Kay Kay??
Follow Follow tahu!!
Eep EEppp.....
Hahahah......
Ive gone bonkers!!!

Damn........I have a headache.......
Grrrrr...........
It feels like there's an oversized woodpecker in my head trying to
GET OUT!
And it's going peck,peck.....peck,peck......
OUCH!

Acting like nothing happened
When you're really hurting on the inside

To watch you suffer like that
... it's like the end of the world

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark burn out in a brilliant blaze than it be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet." 

"This is a song for the lonely, can you hear me tonight? For the broken hearted, battle scarred I'll be by your side.

Sometimes, people think I'm fine
IM NOT!
I am always a lil torn inside.
wrote a song yesterday,
Nick and me,
Honest is honestly the hardest thing for me right now.

Everytime I'm lonely,
Your always there
You give me a hug,
Showing me that you care
You ask me whats wrong
I'm never sure if i should share
There always someone watching us,
everywhere.......

If only we could be alone
Someday, Someplace
Far Away

-Gabba Gabba-

 ..................................................................................................................................................

Yesterday,
I wasn't emo.
I went kite flying and fishing with the youths of St.Pauls
Then later on, something came up and emo-ism came back.
Was emo during makan, and all the way home.
-Thanks for the hug, Benroy........guess i kinda needed one. -
Slept
Woke up less emo
Everything turned back to normal.
Open Facebook.
EMO!
......................................
I haven't had an appetite for the past week.
I dont even wanna talk anymore
Dont know if i can fake a smile tomorrow.......
Wish you were here!
Wish all 4 of you were.

Everyone says my life is complicated........It's even more complicated than you think.

Exams.Exams.Exams = Headaches.
Sejarah + Exam + Peer Pressure + Pressure = Migrains
Aissshhhhhh..................

You're spell that I can't reject is Lucifer
You're magic that I can't reject is Lucifer
When I first saw you, that short moment seemed to STOP!

I hurt my toe..........climbing up and down a hill.

I felt hurt, when you're best friend told me,what you did to her.
I believe you, so when she told me what you unintentionally did to her.
I felt a pang of pain for her.
Even though,my shoulder to cry on, is all the way in some other country.
I always have a shoulder, for you, for her, for her, for him, and for all the other people.
I'm just happy that you guys, didnt ruin you're friendship over a piece of crap.


I just took a quiz on FB and here is the answer:-
you are the moon...bright and beautiful when you descend from the dark skies...you show off a light that quides people through the night...you are like a guardian...mysterious and creative is another reason for standing out from everyone else...you might not be as bright as the sun but your talent is within and just waiting to break out...don't give up you'll get there...you are a dreamer and that's where your ideas of big dreams come from...there is a power within you...moon can show many different sides but each one there is a likeness to them...when your full moon you shine the brightest and everyone sees it...moon is also romantic so i'm guessing you might be romantic?

 The colour of my soul is:-

The following is a copy paste from Yen FErn's blog.  Im too lazy to retype the thing.
Bro' taekwondo examination today. Yen Fern was there too. Met her parents. Nice people :O
Got bored and we called Lavynia.

Us: Oi.
Lavynia: .....................................

20 seconds later...

Yen Fern: Lala, say something!
Lavynia: .................................................... Something.
Maria: *laughs* WTH. *grabs phone* Oi. Respond la when we talk to you.
Lavynia: ......................... Mmmm.
Yen Fern: What's she doing?
Me: What you doing?
Lavynia: ............................................ I'm reading a book.
Me: What book?
Lavynia: ...................................................
Us: WOI.
Lavynia: Archie.

The rest of the call pretty much when like that. Nonsense larrr that girl

Yen Fern made me update.......so i updated. XD

Aishhhhhh..........problems problems............always trying to make me sad, problem is that problems cant make me sad, because the problem with me is that even though im surrounded by problems or problemaking people, i can never be sad unless some real big problem comes around. Understand the problem??

Anyway.......aish, spoil my mood. I blame it on myself.......
Okay, Happy things that happened on Hari K was .............



Blurrr picture, who cares...........anyway, Hari K was on SAturday, i saw Kah Ming, Benny, Kenneth, Jackie, and....and......a so many other friends.........
Yen Fern and me spotted Lavynia's long lost twin brother.
Wanna see???
I feel lame, unexcited, and lonely, and sad today..........
Aishhh...........anyway, gtg email some stupidd ICTL crap.
I think im losing my voice. .....................
I need to talk to any one of my guy friends, girls are too emotional
Oink Oink.
is Emo.

Last Night,
I talked to Nick on the phone for 3 and 1/2 hours straight..........
Then he made me cry, laughing.
LoL.
Yen Fern, made a new word.....
QuackQuack and MooMoo......
Something is definitely wrong with us!
Hahaaha, LoL.
I just started reading Manga a few days ago = Maid Sama.
Usui is so hot!
Hahahaha, Lawl.
Cynta, Alya and Yen Fern are addicted Bonyot. Hahaha....LoL. And Ham Sap, and Hen Tai, and QuackQuack and MooMoo and DotDotDotDotDotDotDot.

Hahahah......i laugh too much.
Dont you think?!
Then Nick, is addicted to Balony......
We are bongkers!
Call the police!! I just saw a crazy person in my mirror!!

I havve to doooo, darn homework.

Exams are like tomorrow, and i have a major headache!!!
Thank God, its just English and Moral......
I'm more of a night study kind of person, but you know, i cant study for more than an hour, because i get really, sleepy.......
Haizzzzz.......
Wish me Luck!

I haven't updated my blog in the longest time........ZOMG~
Anyways, a lot things happened in the past.....
.My camera rosak
Alia's B'day
Sports Day (psssst: I didnt go)
Autism Walk
PSB Installation discussion
Arrival of Venus,Mars and Lost
And Other than That all the usual problems we face in life.......

Haizzzz.........

Anyways, lets start from the top!

MY CAMERA ROSAK!!!!
so heart-breaking.......a week before that, my phone rosak, and i went to repair it and had to use MY OWN MONEY!!! Now, my camera rosak....haizzz......i pokai alrd!! How now??!!
So now, i cant use my camera till i have money!!! Haizzz.....unless i get straight A's for Mid-Year exam and then ask Dad & Mum! Hmmm......see larrr what happen......

Alia Leilani's B'day Bash!!
Alia's birthday was on the 2nd of May.....
She had a b'day bash at The Paya 'something' in Hilton,PJ.
The food was so awesome, i hung out with Damia, and me and her felt like idiots coz at first we didnt know what to eat....
Then we didnt know how to do the steamboat.....
So God knows how we actually managed to cook 3 crabsticks that I ate, which tasted quite the deliciouso.
I bought Alia a bronze necklace from Amcorp Mall just before going to her party.....like seriously..
After church i went and bought it, then went for her party.....
Hope she liked it...and even then i used my own money.
Her party was fun, and she looked absolutely GorGeous!

Sports Day!
Pssst......i didnt go,
But it was on some date that i forgot and GUESS WHAT>>???!!!!
RUMAH MERAH WON!!!
WOOOT!!!!

Autism Walk!
Autism Walk was on the 11th of April ( if i'm not mistaken)
It was a blast!!
Joanne,Demtria,Anita,Samantha,Olivia and me did front gate security.......
You dont know how freaking hard it is!!!
You have to ask them if they have a ticket, then tell them where to get one if they dont, or tell them where to redeem their stuff if they do. Then you have to shoo them inside. And then you can't let cars in!!
Which means possibly getting into an accident!!
But all in all IT WAS A BLAST!!

PSB Installation Discussion!
One day, all the librarians Form 2-4 were gathered in the billik rujukan by Renia.....we were then asked to sit down....I got the swirly chair!!
Then she talked about where we were going to do the installation and the food and the performances.....i knew that Form 2's had to go against the Form 3's to get to dance because they wanted to do something on their own without someone having to tell them what to do very very strictly.Then i started blurring out, and wasnt paying attention to anything until Oli stepped on my foot (OWWWWWW!!!!) I zapped back into the conversation as they started arguing on who to get the dance, somehow we won....then Renia asked who was going to be the ketua, and all the heads turned to me.........
WTH!!!>>>!!!!
I didnt think i could actually handle all the stress of choreographing, doing the song, teaching them and getting everyone to come for practice. It was going to be one hell of a job.
So i literally screamed 'WHATTTT???!!!!' and of course everyone insisted and i got the post.....
So now i still havent choreographed the dance, but i didnt want to do any remixing unless it would be really good, so  i might as well use BLAME IT ON THE POP.....so yeah......

ARIVAL OF VENUS,MARS and LOST
Well on the 14th of April 2010. I got 2 puppies.......we named them Venus and Mars.......they were so cute!!!
Then one day after swim trainning we found a lost puupy that looked so young and confused my brother started crying for us to be able to car for him.... and my mum said ok. We named him Snow at first but my mum insisted on naming him Lost....so we called him Lost, and kept on responding.....so the name stuck...

Other than that, my mid-year exams are coming up, so i have to study and stuff.....And currently i'm addicted to Farmville and Cafe World on Facebook.........which is really weird since im not the type of person who goes online to play games....LOL.
=DD

15-17 March 2010

When i heard Miriam wasnt coming for the retreat,i thought i was gonna be so boredd there.....but then i was proven very and i mean very wrong. It was so fun, the long walks on the beach, trying not to get wet, when we were walking in the water. Splashing everyone. The jokes.....It was the best time ever!
And the awesome youth's i met were
                                                                       Edweena

                                                                           Anna

Monday- I became a Shotai.
Tuesday- I studied.
Wednesday- I'm saving one of my bestfriend's ass
Thursday- Still saving her ass
Friday- Still saving her ass.

Gonna be saving her ass for quite a while....haizzz....
Yesterday, was my mom's partner's wife's birthday! Happy Birthday, Aunty Sumi!!. They had a suprise party at Meatworks. We got lost on the way, so you could say we were kinda late. Joanne left me and went to India!! Without saying goodbye....=(
So yeah, during the party, i got bored once in a while, but when Daniel Annai came, i finally had someone i could talk to. Well,we decided to prank call his friend Adrian, SAS Leo Club Prez. Yeah, and he told him that he picked me up from the roadside....WTH?
Yeah, and now im too lazy to type out the other stuff.....So yeah.
Ciao!
;D

Damn awesome song.!!!
Today i went to school like normal and came back at about 10.30am
Today was Class Photo Day, so everyone came, all happy happy except me.
I was feeling sick.
So after the photo, Regina followed me to the sick bay, and yeah....i was okay at about 9-9.25, and I decided to call my mum and ask her to pick me up.
But i didnt, cause of some reasons that shall not be said on my BLOG!.
So Keshita, one of my Best Friends since std.5, called mummy and asked her to pick me up.
Funny Thing is,
During English i felt a whole lot better, and just as i was deciding if i should like stay in school. The Kakak comes and tells me, my dad's here. Well, so much for staying at school.
I went home and slept.
=D
Well, thats sick old me!!
=D
Today's Alysha's birthday.
Happy Birthday Alysha!!!
.....................................
Im not going for foot the ball, so sad.
I like football....
Its fun yet tiring
hehe
...................

Merentas Desa a.k.a Cross-Country......i was frantic when i couldnt find my beloved runnin shoes, so my last resort was to wear sneakers, well it was the only other thing that was comfy to run in. We were separated into 3 groups, according to form. Ashwini, and me decided to run/walk/jog together,....

Ciao!

OH no!!! School's back and this year semua org Form2. Get to bully the form 1's hehehe......
A lot of homework.....
Im just typing this coz my friend said if i dont update i mati.....hehehe
So Al my blog is updated.....
*updated*
C ya in schl.....

AFC BOOTCAMP 09 WAS A BLAST!!!!
I mean seeing all the people i havent seen in quite a while.And making new friends.
Wow!!
And then there was that tiring feeling after dance practice and the sweaty shirts and the stench from all the shoes.
I've always had a good time in AFC.
I met a few new friends,
Joel, Sonia, Chelsea, Yee Wei, Zhi An, and i cant rely remember the rest of them....
I remeber their faces but i forgot their names....
oops!
I was too fun for words....laaaarh.

Then it kind of taught me stuff & hw i shud bcome.....
The worst part was the push-ups......
We also made a song......and a nickname for a few ppl hahahahax.
The song is called the watermelon song......
and the nicknames were,
Watermelon (wont b revealed)
Girl (Jon Yap)
Penguin (Divya)
The view (someone)
Curly fries (Joash)
Ason (Benson)
Aloy (benroy)
Agin (Sugin)

And too much to remember,...........


we were all so dead tired that i cant even think straight now.

True friends are hard to find,
Hard to leave,
And the hardest to forget.

I just dont get why people talk about other people behind their backs. It is just rude, annoying and it makes you feel sad when u find out. I found out today, that someone i was close to was talking to my other close friend behind my back. They were avoiding me, so i guess i could tell, but refused to believe it. I'm happy i found out though, because it opened my mind up, and made me think. I didnt bother what they were saying, because i knew that i could not confide in them anymore.....plus i dont give a damn about they say. It made me think, I have been doing the exact same thing to someone. I guess life is just like the saying ' what goes around comes around'.
School is kind of hard, cause you never know who's talking behind your back, and who isnt. Heck, even you're best friend could have been talking behind your back.....but most of those things happen cause of misunderstanding. Its sad really, that you never think of these kind of things until you're kicked in the ass by it.
So, the only things you can possibly do is, choose the right friends, pray, and just be yourself.
If they dont like you.
THEIR LOSE.

So now, im going to apologize to the someone i've been treating badly....or shouold i do it on Monday.
Hmmm........
Anyways, there is AFC today...
And divya cant come cause she went for camp. She was very scared that leaches would bite her. LoL.
So i cant tell her...
But im sure AFC will be fun as it always is!!
=D

But i feel alright..

Exams ended.....
Exams Ended
EXAMS ENDED!!!!

And yesterday was Halloween....ooooh.....
Since me n my bro were dying of boredom. We watched The Covenant on AXN. My bro got scaredand didnt want to eat or sleep, i  felt like ch0king him at that time. But in the end, he got to sleep, which made me skip dinner..... Then Dad came back from wherever he went and started screaming at me, cause i didnt do something i was suppose to do for him..... And i was about to scream at him, but i just shut my mouth....
There is only so little i can do, since i ONLY HAVE 2 HANDS. And since mum was out, i had to use both my hands to organize my bro. I dont think, i actually gave a damn, on the murmuring Dad was doing outside the room....and soon enough i knocked out. But then Ian (my bro), woke up anad walked towards his cupboard, which had a drawing of a lady on it, and started poking the lady. I was shocked, cause when i tried to ask him what he was doing, he was so quiet, i think he was sleep walking or something.
IDK laaa.


Then the next day...
(TODAY)
my Dad woke me up at 5.30 in the morning....cause he has to go to church at 6.30 and i had to be at church at 7.30, so i was forced to follow him...grrrrr.
So i went and sat in the service for 15 minutes, and then i saw Sugin, so i thought  i might as well keep him company since it was only the 2 of us there so far.
5 minutes later, Zach came, with his cool camera. And then Andrea, Angelina and Jessica came with food.
Yummm.....
(i didnt have dinner or breakfast okay)
Then JJ and Joseph Lai came,
And then Benson and Celine came.
And then we ate.
And then we went to Good Shepard for publisiti.
Good Shepard is kind of above some shops, so there is two ways to go up....by a lift or bt the stairs....they were both spooky. I took the lift, it was dark and the light kind of blinks on and off, so it mademe half expect that the lift doors were going to open to a floor of darkness and a ghost would pop out....but as u know, i have a very wide imagination..... =D

So the lift opened and we entered Good Shepard.
Then we dance, dance,dance...and then it was the sermon, and the intercession.....which i thought was the longest prayer i have ever heard. (But hey, im not complainning).
And of course, one of the reasons AFC is AFC is cause, there are so many jokesters in AFC that you cant stop laughing. Then it was Holy Communion.
I almost forgot that i was already confirmed....but thats just me.... XD.
After the service was over, we walked to where the 'Coffee Fellowship'  was, and the food was fantastic,well prolly cause i was very hungry. They even had cake!!!

Then.....i came home.....
And now i am going to go and sleep.
ZZZZZ....
-.-" (the z's were lame)

AFC Publicity on Sunday. Dang.